Revu — Finding pretension in filming a willy
“Finding pretension in filming a willy”
By Bart Nijman · Revu
“My mother wrote two books, but she couldn’t cook to save her life!” We laugh at everything, a few of us gathered around a pan of pasta in a Portuguese garden, drinking bottles of Cristal faster than the fridge can chill them. Wine flows, someone starts making watercolours, and the beer gives way to wine and vodka.
The jokes become […] as all coherence disappears from the conversation, giving way to […] words uttered in […] primal accents. Agreement becomes a pat on the shoulder, disapproval a dismissive gesture, and the watercolour has long since failed.
Life is light when, on the other side of a bacchanal, no […] awaits. It is a high stronger than the one alcohol produces. There are […] to honour, nothing special to celebrate, and […] conversations about nothing still acquire a grand air of importance. Pretension in a bottle.
However cheerful these moments of drunken revelry and nonsensical conversation may be, the urge to reach the bottom also has something sad about it. It creates nothing, makes nothing more beautiful, and you can never explain to a sober person why your ideas are so wonderful or your jokes so hilarious.
All these thoughts, which shrivel the merry party into something sinful and cheerless, occurred to me the […] morning. Afterwards, I read about Honey Pot, the latest production by the artists’ collective KIRAC, in which “left-wing girl” Jini is looking for a conservative man to have sex with. Following a call on GeenStijl — left-wing University of Amsterdam girl wants right-wing dick; we could still see the joke in that — none other than Forum for Democracy “philosopher” Sid Lukkassen […] Stefan Ruitenbeek, KIRAC’s art critic, who seems increasingly to be hunting for artistic recognition of his own.
The video was made, but Lukkassen already regretted it during filming. Even so, Ruitenbeek and his production partner Tarik Sadouma insist on getting a willy on camera. They also insist on publishing the video, into which they have blithely worked Sid Lukkassen’s tearful […]. GeenStijl […]; Stefan acted indignant.
Trying to seduce a self-proclaimed thinker — whom everyone knows to be, literally, an autistic attic-dweller lost in video games — out of his clothes through a girl who cheapens her sexuality so much that even with her clothes on she has something […]: it is not art criticism, and it is not art. It has no philosophical value and teaches us nothing about Lukkassen that we did not already know, nor anything about Jini to which we would […].
Finding pretension in filming a willy. Just go and get drunk instead: you will feel terribly grand for a little while too, without having to destroy anyone else in the process.
Translation note: the stored Dutch PDF contains incomplete and corrupted sentences. Unrecoverable fragments are marked […].